“Mom, May I Have a Candy?”

When my daughter sees candy, she sees an opportunity: "Mom, may I have some candy?"

The most beautiful half moon face you have ever seen is fixated on the  opportunity of a sugar rush and the taste of sweetness on her tongue.

There goes that question that always makes my brain start tossing thoughts back and forth like the ball in Rafael Nadal’s tennis games. 

The alarm of my radar turned on! 

This is one of those hidden golden opportunities life gives you when you are raising kids. 

Do I need to have that conversation with her again? We have gone over this twice today, and probably a million times before. I should go over the pro’s and con’s of sugar intake, and remind her of the effects sugar has in her body in the short and long run. I should again try to empower her to make a healthy educated choice. 

Unfortunately it is not simple to ask her to stop thinking about candy, talking about candy, or eating candy. Our society adds the spoonful of sugar, not only for the medicine to go down, but to keep our kids hooked, and my daughters forever asking about it.

Babies develop a sweet tooth from the moment they first taste baby food. Italians add sugar to bolognese sauce to make it deliziosa! “Will you have sugar in your coffee?” is what the barista at Starbucks asks after handing me my cup of coffee.

As fall approaches I hear a knock on the door and kids start chanting “Trick or Treat Halloween, give us something good to eat!” Even some of our holidays center around candy! Will my family ever forgive me for not participating in family gatherings trying to avoid sugar?

I used to be a baker before being a full time mom. Yes, sugar was one of my main ingredients. I ran the business for ten years but stopped believing in selling something I didn’t agree with consuming. I sold the business. If I wanted to stop sugar consumption at home, how was I selling and promoting this product for other homes?

Going back to my tween years, I was sent to Mount Airy, North Carolina to visit my uncles. My aunt called me “sweetie,” and all I thought about then was candy. Embedded in our vocabulary are the terms sugar, sweetie, and honey. All sugar related. And that is just a way of calling each other in a nice-loving way. 

“Sugar, yes please…Need a little sweetness in my life.” Would Adam Levine be right, do we all need a little sweetness in our life? 

When we eat sugar our brain releases a feel-good chemical called dopamine, which explains why you would crave a candy bar over an apple. Whole Foods like fruits and vegetables don't produce as much dopamine as sugar (Hughes How Does Too Much Sugar Affect Your Body?). Your brain starts needing more sugar to get that feeling of pleasure. The cravings for sugar can be stronger than a pregnant woman’s craving for pizza. 

Your mood is also affected by sugar. When you take sugar, your blood sugar levels rise fast, giving you a burst of energy, getting that “sugar rush.” However, when your levels of sugar drop again, you start feeling anxious and jittery. (Hughes How Does Too Much Sugar Affect Your Body?).

“Just one candy mom, please!” Her eyes now glow and the smile on her face is like the most beautiful half moon you could ever see. But then I remember that they had lucky charms for breakfast and that during their snack time they had a pack of oreos each followed by an apple. 

This is what I’m here for: the tension in your mind about how to approach this situation. 

Taking all sugar away just makes something prohibited, which is fine. However, I want to teach my children to be responsible when making their choices and  to think about the consequences. I want them to practice the skill of making educated choices, from abundance not scarcity. 

Providing opportunities to practice this skill will allow her to master the skill before they fly away from the nest. 

We had that conversation with my daughters about the pro’s and con’s of sugar intake and how sugar affects her body in the short and long run. We mentioned how sugar makes you feel good in the moment, but after a while your head or stomach can hurt. We thought about alternatives together like eating an apple with peanut butter, almonds, or rice crackers. 

Parents get hidden golden opportunities that lie beneath the questions and tantrums kids make. Visualizing these opportunities can be as difficult as an airplane landing in foggy weather. The opportunity of landing, having that conversation that will empower your child to make educated choices, is there. The pilot just has to align the aircraft. Set the right instruments on. Land! 

The more you empower your children to make educated choices, the more secure and responsible they will grow up to be.

The floor was open.

We talked about not restricting sugar in our home but managing its intake responsibly. Empowering them to make an educated decision over when to eat candy, would build responsibility in them over this subject. We all agreed candy could be eaten during weekends or vacations, so as to not interfere with school hours. 

I value these conversations more than if they just don't eat candy. 

Reasoning with my children and thinking about solutions together. Learning about why things or situations can be harmful. All this prepares them for the future. These conversations become their guide for the next time they have to make a choice by themselves. 

When you know they have used that conversation. When they have made an educated choice. When they have thought through the consequences. That is when you know as a parent that you have succeeded. 

Each question is an opportunity: "Mom, may I have candy?” 

How will you use this opportunity?

Hughes, Locke. “How Does Too Much Sugar Affect Your Body?” WebMD, WebMD, 17 Dec. 2019, www.webmd.com/diabetes/features/how-sugar-affects-your-body.